Week 2: What's in the UK News?

I have found some of the headlines, well, hilarious and decided I just had to pass them on. Do enjoy.


Sunday March 30, 2008
‘The Standard’, Chester & District, 27th March 2008 print

• ‘One of Britain’s Safest Cities’, subtitle ‘Chester named as one of least burgled areas’. Ah yes, apparently in England you can make up words like ‘burgled’…is that a word? How do we Americans not know about this word? I believe I’ll start using this immediately. I will burgle the word burgling from England.

• ‘Hunt is launched for Rows sex attacker’. Now, typically not a funny topic, so I will not poke fun at the topic. However if you were to read into the short article, you would find this in the 7th paragraph: ‘The man is described as white, in his late teens, about 5 ft 7 ins tall and with a pale complexion’. Does anyone else feel like this describes just about every teenage boy in England? Not to mention a number of them outside of England.

•‘Tight squeeze for Layla’. This is a good one. In case you were wondering, Layla is a lovely 5-yr-old Staffordshire Bull Terrier. In Paragraph 6, the writer informs you that ‘Nina said: “He (her son) threw the ball for the dogs to et. Suddenly Layla went smack bang into the metal railings. She had her two front legs through and kept trying to push herself forward but was wedged.”’ No joke, they called a fire truck to come and free this dog. While it is valiant of the fire fighters and all involved, the dog was safe after all, but this was seriously a HEADLINE!

Monday March 31, 2008
‘The Standard’, Chester & District, 20th March 2008 Print

• 'Man banned from pubs for 10 years'. Enough said.

Stay tuned.